Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Betrayaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 295
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 1056
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1684



    Description:
       Ten reasons of death
    1. Old age
    2. Wrath
    3. solitude
    4. Emptiness
    5. Despair
    6. Destruction
    7. Intoxication
    8. Insanity
    9. Greed
    10. Sacrifice

    The 11th reason by experience today ~ Betrayal

    (Blood moon - Lunar eclipse in 17-Apr-2014)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBetrayaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    How does it feel my dear?
    Look; at how a knife cut's through an empty heart of pain.
    How does it feel to throw away a life?
    To not realize that you made a dry eye cry...

    To attain peace is where my heart dwells around,
    an unworthy hope which I have tried to destroy all my life.
    The moon turned red and the pain started all along,
    without knowing, did hope fake it's own life?

    All it left is more pain of which I intend to destroy the source,
    Oh! how kind of god to give several of them.
    A tiny speck of happiness, a small gift called freedom,
    when will I feel that life? when will that dream be alive?

    Not a word spoken back, not an emotion conceived,
    I know now why 'no' is unacceptable.
    Fear, a human emotion which I leave unscathed,
    Yet it tears me without a wound to be seen.

    I will not find you in the stars will I?
    Nor the moon shall come down to me as a gift from God.

    Know that I am human too.
    Know that this cold heart does melt.
    Know that behind that ugly mask is a child waiting to be loved.
    Know that you shall not cry in my arms till you finally close your eyes.
    Know that you shall not sleep without smiling once everyday.
    Know that it is not fear that I fear of.
    It is not living a moment of happiness before this life ends.

    How does it feel my dear?
    Look; at how that child in me is breathing through a tube called life.
    How does it feel to stab that child again?
    To not realize that I cry once again...




    Submitted on 2014-04-18 03:32:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i cannot decide to whom you are writing this? by whom youve been betrayed...

    your description was very powerful... 10 reasons for death... the 11th... i think everyone can identify with.
    ironic (or maybe not) that you post this during Easter weekend. Judas... the ultimate betrayal...

    for glimpses throughout this piece i wonder whether this piece is aimed at a parent or significant adult who told you all kinds of stories you have found to not be true. i will not find you in the stars... do you speak of god? or a loved one who has passed?

    we are told all kinds of stories to comfort us as we are growing and going through all measure of experiences. sometimes well meaning loved ones tell us all kinds of rubbish instead of the truth because they want to protect us and yet when we learn the truth we find we are more hurt than we would have been had we learned it at first.

    anyway... i know my comment isnt even remotely helpful but that is my response to the words you have created.

    dont die.
    | Posted on 2014-04-20 00:00:00 | by allapo1ogies | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198893

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Push written by JanePlane
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Incubus written by monad
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry