happiness, like anything, can be distorted.
this piece makes me sad because it takes me a while, as the reader, to realise that this is a reconstruction of happiness or better yet a deconstruction.
everyones experience of any emotion is relative. i could say im sad and you could say youre sad and we'd be experiencing our sadness in completely different ways on completely different levels.
im saddened to hear that you think all these things are happiness.
sometimes we label things that arent.
i cannot see any way that lying about being happy is the same as being happy.
believe me i understand all about pretending to be happy for the sake of others but i knew the whole time i was putting on this front that there was nothing happy about me.
i hope and pray this is not your personal experience of happiness.
and yet if it is i promise you things will get better (though theres no timeline or guarantee on when)