Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Bagpipe Orchestradots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MadGeologist
    Elite Ratio:    1.86 - 1/3/3
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1279



    Description:
       This is my first attempt at free verse.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Bagpipe Orchestradots
    -------------------------------------------


    It begins as a low hum in the distance:
    The undulating, ululating scream of a young
    Repressed soul straining to give utterance,
    Musically, to the tumultuous passions brimming
    Inside him; or maybe simply the product of a
    Bored student expelling the frustrations of the day
    Into the mouthpiece of his instrument
    In a woeful, uninspired imitation of his teacher.
    Then suddenly, there are two, then three,
    Each playing just milliseconds
    Short of unison, and falling just short
    Of being in key. It's a wonder how their
    Musicality does not impose
    Itself on the pandemonium;
    Is it, after all, the instrument,
    Or is it the man, that makes sound music?
    A few more steps and the full intensity
    Of the depraved orchestra is exposed
    To the innocent ear: there are seven
    Cackling devils blowing hellfire
    Into the mouthpieces of their bagpipes,
    And each infernal strain is multiplied sevenfold
    To ring and beat within the heart
    And remind the mortal of his inevitable sins.
    Run and escape! The abhorrent sound
    Watches you rush down the staircase and out
    Of the building as you leave it behind to fade away.




    Submitted on 2014-04-19 07:06:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like what youve got here.

    im not sure how i feel about bagpipes.
    sometimes i adore listening to them and yet others it feels like nails on a chalk board.

    i will never forget when i was younger i was staying with a Scottish couple over the summer when the husband came through to me white as a ghost asking me if he could hear bagpipes.

    i went outside and i could hear them very faint in the distance so i told him yes i could hear them.

    he was most worried that he was about to die. something about if you can hear bagpipes but cannot see them the scottish version of the grim reaper was coming for you...

    usually bagpipes give me goosebumps... i dont know if its good or bad...

    anyways. back on track.
    your use of bagpipes to convey your point is very poiwerful and not one ive seen before.
    i like their almost in time almost on key disharmony which you have painted well.

    i imagine it would be the sound if i was to pick up the bagpipes and try to make some kind of sound... theres a lot more skill to playing them than you would expect.

    your use of language and extensive vocab in this piece are is amazing.

    a very well thought through and presented piece.
    | Posted on 2014-04-19 00:00:00 | by allapo1ogies | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198899

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    AI written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Cover written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry