Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Now I see sunrays in my eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 887
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 531



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNow I see sunrays in my eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Now I see sunrays in my eyes
    without dust for there is dust
    in them – they slant the trees
    and bend along my lashes.

    The rest is perpendicular – the way
    my elbow holds the cup and high-heeled shoes
    strut up the pavement.

    A lonesome figure centered
    in the window of a bared sky,
    as cafes closed umbrellas for the night –
    their upside down flowers –
    and left the notes
    retracing breadcrumbs
    back to heaven.




    Submitted on 2014-05-05 14:41:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Such a pretty word scene. I liked the images of cafe umbrellas closing like upside down flowers. Very nice.
    | Posted on 2014-05-07 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198969

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The World written by jjd
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Records I written by Raphael
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    mimicry written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry