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I am wearing the hair-shirt of my own skin inside out and scourging myself with my fingernails. I feel the tectonic plates of my abdomen writhe under their fractured crust and lava wells up in crevices. In the rock’s deep fissures the crustaceans crawl. My fingertips trace gently the cordillera of my spine taking basalt samples under my nails from the crater walls. My back is the battlefield of Stalingrad overrun by a starving peasant army bristling with pitchforks, halberds, boar spears and flensing knives. They crawl out of foxholes in dirty rags of sacking to prod and pillage among the broken masonry. In the pitch black of night where hedgehogs are rummaging under my sheets my probing fingers find an area of haunch carved with the crenulations of a mad Baroque architect. There are ridges and rills, furrows and burrows, welts and weals and the raised scars of Hottentot initiation. Among the random passages of this maze wander the inzy spiders with their dirty little feet and venom dripping fangs. I squash each one I come across to a bloody pulp and in the rosy fingered dawn the gulls come to pick the dead carcases off the beach. Occasionally perhaps among the filigree of pain I touch one fine silver wire of intense, perverse extraordinary pleasure and my nails scrabble frantically to find this lost seam. But now I arise from this night I never slept with my head a hot furnace of poetry. There on my sheets is the proof of a thousand virgins whose painted fingernails have already drawn veils, shrouds and cauls of dead skin across their faces. |
I was discussing with two friend recently whether a painful illness or a broken heart is the more horrible experience. We came to no conclusion and ended up talking about fish farms. The big questions are hard to keep in focus, I guess? But I'm sorry to hear you have had such a horrible experience as you describe very graphically here. I think it is going to give me bad dreams ... | Posted on 2014-07-02 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ] | But back to the poetry. | Hottentot, an interesting toss into this frankly too-effective visual, I commend thee upon. Cringe-worthy, but I think in these particular circumstances and stanzas, I'm forgiven for saying so, perhaps even applauded like any good author standing beside good, cringe-worthy work should be. Dear God, this sounds perfectly dreadful to have endured. I'm dealing with one tiny bug bite, left ankle, slightly off center and 6 days later, driving me crazy. Here's to the itch we all here love to scratch. And to the actual itches of nature trying to kill all of us #TheHappening. | Posted on 2014-05-23 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ] | |