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    dots Submission Name: A Thank Youdots

    Author: TheAirWeBreathe
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 5/16/19
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 916
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 814

       A litttle something

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Thank Youdots

    ( I want to thank every one of you! I feel great knowing I can write, at the very least. Poetry was never even something I thought about only months ago. I hope I can continue to please you! )

    Hello, my sweet
    Let us take a chance.
    Though we are young,
    Let us sprout our wings.
    The wind through our hair felt nice back then,
    Didn't it?
    I wanted to write a thank you.
    Sincerely and truly,
    Thank you.
    The time had flown by,
    and seeming to loose track,
    I start to forget all the fun we used to have.
    Maybe that's why
    I want you to know,
    I didnt forget about us two
    Which is why
    I wanted to write a thank you.
    Sincerely and truly,
    Thank you.
    ( Edited 5/29/14 )

    Submitted on 2014-05-11 09:44:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Simple and sweet. I envy writers who can take me from A to B like this. Linear like.

    So, "sprout our wings" creeps me out a little because when I read it I picture it and the picture my mind makes isn't pretty. "Spread" is obviously clich� and perhaps that's what you were trying to avoid but... maybe it's just me.

    The time had flown by,
    and seeming to loose track,
    I forgot all the fun we used to have.
    Maybe that was what I needed.
    I want you to know,
    I didn't forget.

    I think you meant lose not loose.
    This bit is somewhat confusing because you forgot but then you didn't forget so I guess you remembered? Maybe instead of the forget/forgot you could add something about remembrance?

    Welp, could use a little love but I like it.
    Later, tater.
    | Posted on 2014-05-24 00:00:00 | by MEGASWELL | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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