Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Shoulder I've Longeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    24/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 622/961/452
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 940
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 769



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Shoulder I've Longeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nightfall,
    The day rests...
    But the silence surrounding wakes me,
    Alone with the turmoils that rest deep within me.

    I wish you knew...

    Somehow I'm in this disposition,
    In loss by the harsh climates of love.

    I'm hurting,
    I know I'm supposed to feel this.

    I just wish you knew...

    How hard it is,
    To live without you...

    My reason is fading,
    My tears still flowing...
    I don't know how to resolve this...

    I don't know how to solve it...

    I need you...
    But how can I enjoy that sentiment?

    I wish you knew...

    How much I loved you.




    Submitted on 2014-05-11 18:10:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice form here. Message is strong but not over the top, seems solid. Good to read you again, I've been drifting about busy, busy, busy. Still can't play a lick but hopeful before I die that I will lay down a few. Time seems to go faster the longer you swim in it.

    Since the site asks me to suggest something...

    I wish you knew... how much I loved you.

    Lloyd
    | Posted on 2014-05-12 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this struck a cord. I have no great words of wisdom or critique. Just a nod of relation and a heartfelt ovation.

    "But the silence surrounding wakes me"

    Love that!

    One snip it...the second me in the first stanza...needed?

    Thanks for sharing
    Peace
    | Posted on 2014-05-12 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    198996

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Stretto written by saartha
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    ME written by jjd
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Genesis written by saartha
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry