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    dots Submission Name: The Shoulder I've Longeddots

    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    24/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 622/961/452
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 769


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Shoulder I've Longeddots

    The day rests...
    But the silence surrounding wakes me,
    Alone with the turmoils that rest deep within me.

    I wish you knew...

    Somehow I'm in this disposition,
    In loss by the harsh climates of love.

    I'm hurting,
    I know I'm supposed to feel this.

    I just wish you knew...

    How hard it is,
    To live without you...

    My reason is fading,
    My tears still flowing...
    I don't know how to resolve this...

    I don't know how to solve it...

    I need you...
    But how can I enjoy that sentiment?

    I wish you knew...

    How much I loved you.

    Submitted on 2014-05-11 18:10:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Nice form here. Message is strong but not over the top, seems solid. Good to read you again, I've been drifting about busy, busy, busy. Still can't play a lick but hopeful before I die that I will lay down a few. Time seems to go faster the longer you swim in it.

    Since the site asks me to suggest something...

    I wish you knew... how much I loved you.

    | Posted on 2014-05-12 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this struck a cord. I have no great words of wisdom or critique. Just a nod of relation and a heartfelt ovation.

    "But the silence surrounding wakes me"

    Love that!

    One snip it...the second me in the first stanza...needed?

    Thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2014-05-12 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]

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