Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Silence dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Fanfic/Serious
    Total Views: 953
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 979



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSilence dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The silence is deafening

    I can hear the constant rotation of the tires smacking the pavement
    The never-ending clicking of you turning off and on your brights
    Doing your best to be respectful of other drivers
    Yet, not with your daughter
    Suggesting all people cannot handle honesty
    stating "this is what I get for being honest"
    As if I am just another "person" in your life
    Its not honesty I cannot handle
    Its the abruptness the crudeness and repetitiveness you spoke with
    When speaking this new found honesty

    The silence is deafening

    Now I am upset you say
    Now I am about to cry you comment
    As if "how dare I"?!?

    No, no I will not cry!
    I feel nothing
    I hurt no where

    Just to prove you wrong
    I will not sob
    I will not whimper

    The silence is deafening




    Submitted on 2014-05-18 21:47:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is about my favourite thing i have read on here for a long time. I admire the way it is constructed - allowing you to get at and get out what you need to get out. I cant claim to have read a lot of your work but from time to time i read you and i am glad i guess because you have figured out a way to speak.

    The ever-presence of tension is unrelenting and brought by you in levels ....not really levels, just that its like we were walking and then from out of nowhere theres an iron fence barring the way- we change direction - that same iron fence. There is no escape and thats super thats awesome that little bit of leg room just to trap us again, so when i say theres admiration....

    Thank you for sharing your plight/the availability of your work.

    DB
    | Posted on 2014-05-20 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes it is. Screaming at the top of your lungs can't even compare can it.

    bit of a typo

    of to off in the second line.

    although heart wrenchingly somber, i liked this.

    | Posted on 2014-05-19 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199016

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    prison written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    The World written by jjd
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry