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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Once upon a timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PopRocksRae
    ASL Info:    21/ F/ Heaven
    Elite Ratio:    2.49 - 232/369/355
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 1162
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1374



    Description:
       an ol' song I wrote..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOnce upon a timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I used to wait for you at night
    they all said you didn't treat me right.
    I guess I knew things wouldn't work out
    but why'd you leave me without?

    There are no castles
    no mountains to climb
    no prince charming
    or once upon a time.
    I can really see
    the truth in your eyes
    there's no happy ending
    for this once upon a time.

    our love was pure but then turned bad
    I knew I wanted what you had.
    our first kiss stole my heart
    but then you tore my world apart.

    There are no castles
    no mountains to climb
    no prince charming
    or once upon a time
    I can really see
    the truth in your eyes
    there's no happy ending
    for this once upon a time.

    I want to close this book and move on.
    Please tell me how can you be strong.
    I want to see our love can do.
    but how can I, without you?

    There are no castles
    no mountains to climb
    no prince charming
    or once upon a time
    I can really see
    the truth in your eyes
    There's no happy ending
    for our once upon a time.

    Yeah, I really see the truth in your eyes.
    There's no happy ending for our once upon a time.




    Submitted on 2014-05-20 22:35:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I want to close this book and move on.
    Please tell me[,] how can you be [so] strong[?]
    I want to see [what] our love can do,
    but how can I, without you?

    If these are song lyrics, I can understand why you'd want to adhere to such a tight rhyme scheme. However, there are times when the rhyme seems forced and some verses (such as the one above) seem harder to follow than others. You should experiment with an unrhymed version and see how it plays out.

    Just some thoughts.
    Bill
    | Posted on 2014-05-29 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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