Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: alightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 419/435/131
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 983
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 600



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsalightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    you press against me

    open my legs
    hands on the small of my back

    your hips move
    with you

    inside
    music plays

    at the bridge
    in the dark
    eyes bleary
    voice low
    you sing your plea
    bend my knee

    shake

    I pull away
    you grab my wrist
    I spin around
    you pull me back

    don’t let go

    I lean back
    you hold me there
    until I turn
    you lose your grasp


    and so we dance




    Submitted on 2014-06-17 00:29:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Jane,

    I love the fun you have with erotic innuendo and double intent. We do not know it is a "dance" until the end. My sense is that it is a dance of possible love-making and not a Tango or such. To me, the music being inside the woman feels much better than it coming from a venue.

    Jim
    | Posted on 2014-11-09 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      don’t let go

    I lean back
    you hold me there
    until I turn
    you lose your grasp
    | Posted on 2014-06-17 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I know this is gonna seem off key but I believe in feminism. Throughout this piece it seems it's you who are in command, refusing to take a subservient role despite the (apparent) cajole. In the end it is you who decides when it will end. This is gonna seem off key further but a mans gotta know when to let go. Although unabated I would have a tendency to carry on even if I were pretty much done if the woman still wanted it, nonetheless of we (men) lessons of history owe women this. They need to be able to feel that they are in control. Just like black people need their liberation, well, what was it my college girlfriend said to me "Women are the nigger of the world". Women's rights are something new to our prospectus, they still need some affirmative action here and there.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2014-06-17 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      And I know a woman who married her dance instructor. Quite nice, in a Tango sort of way.
    | Posted on 2014-06-17 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i do like this. it's twofold.

    nothing like a man who can dance. nope!

    i have a wreath in front of my sink and i tuck little notes to self in it. one is a card my mom sent me once.... it says: she dreams of mermaids, motorcycles, and meeting a man who can dance.

    still awaiting my spin. ha!

    but you go on now with your bad self!
    | Posted on 2014-06-17 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199220

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    Giving written by jjd
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Bond written by saartha
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Drink written by jjd
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry