[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: alightdots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 419/435/131
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1061
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 600


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    you press against me

    open my legs
    hands on the small of my back

    your hips move
    with you

    music plays

    at the bridge
    in the dark
    eyes bleary
    voice low
    you sing your plea
    bend my knee


    I pull away
    you grab my wrist
    I spin around
    you pull me back

    don’t let go

    I lean back
    you hold me there
    until I turn
    you lose your grasp

    and so we dance

    Submitted on 2014-06-17 00:29:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    I love the fun you have with erotic innuendo and double intent. We do not know it is a "dance" until the end. My sense is that it is a dance of possible love-making and not a Tango or such. To me, the music being inside the woman feels much better than it coming from a venue.

    | Posted on 2014-11-09 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      don’t let go

    I lean back
    you hold me there
    until I turn
    you lose your grasp
    | Posted on 2014-06-17 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I know this is gonna seem off key but I believe in feminism. Throughout this piece it seems it's you who are in command, refusing to take a subservient role despite the (apparent) cajole. In the end it is you who decides when it will end. This is gonna seem off key further but a mans gotta know when to let go. Although unabated I would have a tendency to carry on even if I were pretty much done if the woman still wanted it, nonetheless of we (men) lessons of history owe women this. They need to be able to feel that they are in control. Just like black people need their liberation, well, what was it my college girlfriend said to me "Women are the nigger of the world". Women's rights are something new to our prospectus, they still need some affirmative action here and there.

    | Posted on 2014-06-17 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      And I know a woman who married her dance instructor. Quite nice, in a Tango sort of way.
    | Posted on 2014-06-17 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i do like this. it's twofold.

    nothing like a man who can dance. nope!

    i have a wreath in front of my sink and i tuck little notes to self in it. one is a card my mom sent me once.... it says: she dreams of mermaids, motorcycles, and meeting a man who can dance.

    still awaiting my spin. ha!

    but you go on now with your bad self!
    | Posted on 2014-06-17 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    This written by Chelebel
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    ME written by jjd
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Saying it to you with some gangsta shit written by Daniel Barlow
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Benediction written by Daniel Barlow
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    Bam Bam / Bre-anna written by Daniel Barlow
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]