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    dots Submission Name: i am dots

    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    5.56 - 803/905/472
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 466


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsi am dots


    but it doesn't mean i don't miss kissing.
    or hand holding.
    or even hand touching.
    or the way that fingers on my skin
    make me ache.

    and i think

    i want to be painted on.
    breathed in.
    breathed out
    and sung to.

    so write me a new song
    whirly-gig man.
    hum it low enough
    for me to hear.

    Submitted on 2014-06-26 10:47:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Aw, what is the story here? Such an elegant piece of verse but it demands that I care a lot how you feel, since there is little for a nosy person. This type of your snapshots are not for the eye but for the empathy of the beholder.

    I think you write to yourself ... it must be a pleasant surprise to find that others are interested!
    | Posted on 2014-07-15 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I could easily relate to the first stanza it depicts exactly how I feel. It successfully captures longing in a way that seems remarkably telling.

    Additionally, it's impressive how the use of simply words can cause such an intense effect upon one's fancy.

    I liked the way you made it sound like making love staged in three parts: kissing and touching, touching more intensely and the act itself. At least that was the impression I had after having read your write a few times. Nice imagery!

    That's all.
    Kind regards,
    Ethan Brody
    | Posted on 2014-06-29 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      :) ...whirly-gig man... :)
    | Posted on 2014-06-26 00:00:00 | by KimmyMim | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2014-06-26 00:00:00 | by slingerofink | [ Reply to This ]

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