Description: ...i free-wrote-
as in, it's 2AM and i just randomly started writing down random words and this came out.
you'd understand it so much better if you were me, or if i explained why this all made sense once i read it over, but i'm not gonna take my time in explaining something that's so irrelevant in many, many ways- just don't question it.
point is, it's still a curious write and i hope you enjoy it.
NEW NOTE: THE REFERENCE ON 'Christian' AT THE ENDING IS NOT REFERRING TO THE RELIGION, Christian IS MY NAME
I stretch out my limbs and wave them to the sky
fingers stretched out as I carve my name off my skin
slowly crawl between my fingers and wrap yourself there
with patience just so I don’t cut you out
My body circles this land in an attempt to belong
molding itself into the ground in desperation to become a nation
somewhere you walk and stand comfortably
without shaking to tumble and break
When did I become a monster?
when the music plugged up my ears and became what deafened me?
as you swim in my oceans, I realize my tomb is undersea
meet me deceased and the real me you’ll see
With a decaying fortress and secrets to hide
you don’t want to believe me, I was never aware that I lied
the words fall out like pouring vomit
a waterfall of indecisive trash that at one point went dormant
Letters intertwine with what doesn’t make sense
and though I may be capable of touching can you touch me?
your fingers press me away while they’re pressing against me
I'm a magnetic pressure against any will
Cup it with the palm of your hand and tell me if you feel the world spinning
it hovers over your pores and makes them pant in anxiety
a breath similar to yours, only reduced in comparison,
because why pay attention to what you can’t see when enormity places itself right before your very eyes?
I ask a question and you lay the denial out beneath my feet
without the dignity to show it to my stare
the one boring holes into the side of your head and slicing off bits of your hair
you’re alone in the mirror, am I not even here?
Embracing my own shoulders, company is nihil
then again I am the one who rejected its potential presence
a "why?" and a "how come?" crossed out before I even write down my initials-
Initially, it doesn’t matter, because Christian…
well, Christian doesn’t exist.
he is abstract. He is…but fortuitous.
I must say you writings are beyond your youthful years! How wonderful it is that there are still thinkers out there. Although I did not fully grasp this write, I honor your individual mind, your thoughts, musings, longings. They make you who you are. And I understand how it would all make sense if I were in your shoes. I have writings like that, making no sense on their own but being so close to me and rational...and they are dearest to my heart. And I feel this is also dear to you.
For Jesus Christ the Lord said: Whoever, ‘blasphemes’, My words, and My Testimony, will not, enter, the Kingdom, of Heaven! – will not ‘enter, into Eternal Rest’; but will, be ‘blotted out’, of the Book, of Life! For any ‘sin’, can be forgiven, but whoever sins, against the True Holy Spirit, will never, be forgiven. And why is this My son?
Your muse and mine must be cousins or something. Many of the ideas I perceive you to be expressing can easily be found in my writings also. I love your title, I often use the phrase 'transcendentally existential' which similar to your title is seemingly oxymoronic in that existentialists don't generally pay much attention to things metaphysical. This is because these things existence is not empirically proof-able. Conversely you'd be hard pressed to convince me that that means they don't exist. I have often considered blowing the whole identity crisis off at the sky to achieve some anonymity, but like you I still want someone to hold my hand there so to speak. I have also considered the plowshare you seem to envision in your second verse, a way to keep our feet firmly on the ground. To be in fact I have a similar set of analogies for almost every verse of this work. This was extremely pleasing for me because one does not often have company out here in the abstract wilder-lands. Your closing verse was the coup de grace in that I often consider myself an agnostic christian, another seemingly oxymoronic statement but there it is. In short this was most enjoyable. Thanks, the company is appreciated.