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    dots Submission Name: Mir ist schlechtdots

    Author: Narna
    Elite Ratio:    1.74 - 14/102/68
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 969
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417


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    dotsMir ist schlechtdots

    If you had,
    promised me nothing, I would have taken that.
    In the shadow of your character,
    I was a child looking up,
    full hearted and fool hardy,
    ready to believe in the mysteries of you.
    I gobbled your empty words
    as if
    your full of yourself attitude
    could sate me.

    I still wonder how it took me so long to realise
    I was starved.

    Submitted on 2014-07-02 18:42:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      empty promises, over saturated words. it's a bummer looking up to someone, thinking they're confident when they're just full of themselves. admitabley i've been guilty of this before. but it's not a staple of my personality. sounds like this is most of who this person was. x-boyfriend?

    I still wonder how it took me so long to realise
    I was starved.

    great ending.
    | Posted on 2014-07-02 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the sound consciousness apparent in"full hearted and fool hardy,". Now why don't you go and enjoy yourself writinga longer poem full of such enjoyment and mastery of words on a topiv more worthy than your ex beau.

    I wonder why you chose a German title? Perhaps shades of Goethe and Einsamkeit.

    Nur wer die Sehnsucht kennt, weiss was ich leide,
    Allein und abgetrennt von aller Freude,
    Seh' ich ins Firmament nach jener Seite.
    Die, die mich liebt un kennt ist in der Weite.
    Es schwindelt mir. Es brennt die Eingeweide.

    Or the shorter version: Mir ist schlecht.
    | Posted on 2014-07-02 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]

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