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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sleeper bus to Paksedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Narna
    Elite Ratio:    1.74 - 14/102/68
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 922
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 590



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSleeper bus to Paksedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Suddenly I'm stuck.
    Swaying side to side;
    cracks between asphalt and dirt
    jolting me awake.
    But it's the path we take,
    that many have and will,
    to reach their go to place.
    A name on a map,
    a pitstop to another,
    that I
    haven't pin pointed yet.
    I wonder if all this silence is people sleeping,
    and
    I wonder how their dreams are not broken.
    If not,
    I wonder if the darkness is a blanket for their reverie,
    also, why am I shivering.






    Submitted on 2014-07-15 15:21:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      That was quick. Nice opening details. Transports to the silence. Sends down shiver all right. You still do some thinking. So, it takes time to realize that you actually felt one.
    | Posted on 2014-08-07 00:00:00 | by Snow9 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this for the snap shot appeal. As well, even in its simpleness, it is quite vivid. Almost like I could feel the sway. Laos huh? Seems like an interesting place to go... even if nothing is exactly pin pointed.

    I like too, the idea of people still sleeping, or how the darkness can be a blanket. Like some folks are used to the ride.

    Interesting about the shivers. I think of nervous energy. But that could just be me and my take on it.

    I do like this.

    Anyhoo... enjoy the journey.
    | Posted on 2014-07-15 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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