I carry myself in such a way that most could never imagine the demons that haunt this mind of mine
Only a select few know the real truth behind the scars that litter this body
Even fewer know I still have lingering suicidal thoughts
I consistently fight the good fight
Pushing away the feelings of uselessness, objectivity, and emptiness
Acknowledging I do not face the same struggles as I once did
Day in and day out throughout my childhood
However, I do face maybe even a greater war...
A war upon myself...
Wrapped up within emotions I have too often shoved away
Buried deep within pain I can never express to you or anyone else
I fight the good fight...
Although, I continue to battle myself keeping everything as level as possible...
As if walking on eggshells with myself constantly I am!
I am always one nightmare away from the deep end
Always one step away from falling off the edge
Hardly making it, I am
Yet, I continue to fight this fight...
For I know I am WORTH more than the sexual abuse that still haunts me
I am better than these scars that 12 gauge shot gun left me
I am more than a recovering drug addict...
I AM MORE