[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: On disappearing...dots

    Author: trinityfinger
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 136/343/209
    Words: 310
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 744
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1792


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn disappearing...dots

    There, a page over, lies a greater visibility to all things
    which define movement. As for my world, it seems extinct.
    Famished. Unseasoned and unfinishable.

    I speak of disappearance as if it was
    a romantic interlude, where I could return to a life
    lived in between suspense and a desire for all that breathes
    and quickly unravels.

    Turquoise is my mood most days. A colour that scrapes the air
    with magic, that touches my hands with an almost frightening scent
    of what tomorrow might bring. There is danger in this discomfort
    that I might live too long, forget the reason I am still here,
    waiting for a question that will never be answered until I am gone,
    a home away from home, a tissue blown twice too many times
    to afford any space upon which to clear my lungs again.

    So I can breathe eternal, jump and skip as if I was
    seven years old again, mud stuck to my gumboots,
    searching for mushrooms, and magpies ready to attack
    the next shimmering light in a forest.

    I am a boy afraid to go to sleep most nights, afraid of
    not quite dreaming the dreams I'd saved for just that moment
    when disaster escapes another life to enter yours
    until you wake up, knowing there is no release, no sense
    of being one with another until they open their lips
    and tell you themselves not to worry, not to be so cold
    or alone out there in this smoky city, windows open
    to possibilities, time clicking down into an enigma
    of companionship, locked hands and locked hearts
    writing turquoise into the sky with you.


    Submitted on 2014-08-08 22:59:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It's really great when there's so much going on in a line that you have several layers of reactions to it. I feel this viscerally, but it takes two or three reads to see all the intricacies that made it that way. Yet at the same time it communicates its point without having to delve into dictionaries and dig out intentionally obfuscated meanings. You've truly branched off and become something the surrealists would have been proud to call home.
    | Posted on 2015-04-02 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      I really found this to be very well written and enjoyed your imagery & emotions that you wrapped into it.the struggles of life are sometimes rough but yet rewarding ,once overcame . this just my point of view
    on the way i read this.well written poem
    | Posted on 2014-08-30 00:00:00 | by mmray | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Cover written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Records I written by Raphael
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]