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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Whispering Winddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Swimming Bird
    ASL Info:    31/m/AR
    Elite Ratio:    5.36 - 92/90/27
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1032
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 950



    Description:
       Needs a little cleaning up.


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    dotsWhispering Winddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The wind, it whispers urgently,
    “Get up! Be on your way.
    For you still have far to travel,
    And you’ve no time for delay.

    Keep your footing sure and true,
    Your steps, light and swift.
    Let me guide you far away.
    My breeze, your spirits lift.

    Think not you’ll be forgotten.
    The love you never kissed.
    The things you cannot bring with you.
    The ones you’ll sorely miss.”

    Of all the steps I’ve taken, thus,
    To reach my journey’s end,
    The hardest one of all, by far,
    The one which it begins.

    But up I sprang, and off I went,
    Leaving friend and home.
    To a future far ahead
    Naked, lost, alone.

    So wind

    Speed me on my journey.
    Think not of what I’ve left.
    For if I ponder all I’ve lost,
    It’ll leave my heart bereft.




    Submitted on 2014-09-07 05:37:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Again, a beautiful and elegantly written piece. It is as if I can hear a gentle stringed melody behind it as in the other piece I just read. The rhymes are crisp and satisfying.

    I thought of the holy spirit and how Jesus says to come with me, leave everything else behind and follow. As if this were more than a whisper, more than a beautiful use of alliteration as in the title and a literal whisper and literal wind, but a calling that you feel but cannot tangibly grasp. I really enjoyed this thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-09-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, and it almost rhymes (which is kind of a tease). I have done such things myself, wherein the poem might rhyme here and there and abandon such walls elsewhere. Worry not however that rhyming might end up feeling trite, it's still part of this game. Catchy title too.
    | Posted on 2014-09-11 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


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