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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bindeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadpoet
    ASL Info:    18/f/ Miami, Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 44/66/27
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 410
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 974



    Description:
       tell me what you think about it? what was the first thing that came to mind when you read it? and do you like it?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBindeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm binded in my own little world,
    The chains and cuffs made by my own mind.
    I'm trapped within the sadness caused
    By everyone I know. All my so called "friends",
    My plastic family,
    They hurt me for satisfaction
    Of seeing someone fall.
    But when you've fallen as far as I have,
    You can only go up.
    So I as you starnger, can you help?
    Help my out of my grave?
    My hands are bleeding. My feet are swolen.
    I can no longer hold my head up.
    I feel I'm coming. Yeah, it's the end.
    No longer will this sadness last.
    No more falling, and with one cut,
    Just one cut,
    All my world, my evil world,
    Will come to an end.
    My chains, loosened.
    My cuffs free my hands,
    And my body goes linp slowly,
    My eyes close and what was left of my soul
    Sinks out slowly
    As I breathe my last breath.




    Submitted on 2004-08-05 12:20:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is great. I enjoy the darkness of it, it speaks very loudly to me. The only thing I found wrong with it is that "binded" should be bound and there were just a couple other mispelled words that kind of threw it off. You might want to look back over it. In all However you did a great job.
    | Posted on 2004-08-05 00:00:00 | by isaiahc4 | [ Reply to This ]
      i can only hope that you dont really feel this way, and if you do, hurting your self is not the way to get rid of your pain. i know that from experience it only makes it worse. talk to your parents and your so called friends about how they're not acting like they should not supporting you or whatever they're not doing thats making you hurt. anyways i like this poem a lot it reminds me of a lot of my older ones. only a few errors i saw:

    "So I as you starnger"
    is it supposed to be ask?

    "body goes linp slowly,"
    limp?

    good job and good luck
    -elaine
    | Posted on 2004-08-05 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]



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