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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Manifestation of a Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadpoet
    ASL Info:    18/f/ Miami, Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 44/66/27
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 334
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 619



    Description:
       give me some feed back what would make this poem better?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsManifestation of a Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your tears pour down into my heart.
    Yet your cries leave me not a single thought
    The essence of your soul is in a glass chamber
    But no matter what I own, your heart I can't, and yet...
    I don't know why your blank expression
    Pierces me like a silver bullet
    Like a wolf in a steep trap
    My hands that run down your face
    So soft yet so tough
    I can feel your every memory
    Your heartbreak
    Sometimes tears inyour soul
    So difficult that you can't remember
    Like a stalker in your window
    Though mine is just love.




    Submitted on 2004-08-05 12:28:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The last line confuses me, what is just love? Up to that point, this poem is slightly confusing, but very beautiful.

    Sometimes tears in your soul
    So difficult that you can't remember

    I love these lines. Anyway, you make some great images of something abstract, a soul, or an expression. Nice work, just maybe clarify that last part.
    | Posted on 2004-08-05 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      emotional prison?
    or just a pount of no return as the person cannot really open up to you or the other way around i liked it good write
    | Posted on 2004-08-05 00:00:00 | by Rennes | [ Reply to This ]



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