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Submission Name:
falling star
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
vinestar
Elite Ratio:
2.37 - 3/5/2
Words:
67
Class/Type:
Poetry/Nature
Total Views:
876
Average Vote:
No vote yet.
Bytes:
358
Description:
falling star
-------------------------------------------
I look up and see the star falling from it abode
falling fast and free
from the dark clear sky
quickly I try to make a wish
a wish deep in my heart needed to be wished before it would be fulfilled
I open my eyes to see nothing
but the path left in the sky by my wishing star
Submitted on 2014-09-17 16:51:10
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||| Comments |||
I look up and see the star falling from the abode …(hahaha)?
The house-home, the dwelling, the heaven, the love, the abode defines these stars well.
To thee I see not the hahaha.
| Posted on 2014-09-23 00:00:00 | by
poetotoe
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(the) works too.
| Posted on 2014-09-21 00:00:00 | by
poetotoe
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falling from (its) abode
You'll find your anything right there on top when you open your nothing and though it might not amount to an everything we should be able to make due.
Bruce
| Posted on 2014-09-17 00:00:00 | by
monad
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Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
Guidelines
]
1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
199531
Jimmy Ruska
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
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