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    dots Submission Name: Did I lay in the regolithdots

    Author: AsiaticFox
    ASL Info:    28/M/A butterfly's dream
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 254/389/301
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 887
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 395

       Written as a response to ponykeeper's 'Hello Moon'.

    Go check it out, it's lovely. And a little bit haunting.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDid I lay in the regolithdots

    One-sixth of its weight,
    my heavy heart soars,
    roaming your mares
    and basaltic shores.

    But on earth you're a dream;
    are my prints in your dust?
    Did I lay in the regolith,
    did I do what I must?

    I will charter a ship,
    that I may soon return,
    and give in to your stillness
    while below the tides turn.

    Submitted on 2014-09-23 12:22:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I laid that sucubus in the regolith too. How I love my solar system.

    | Posted on 2015-05-21 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I had to look up regolith --really nice word but I hadn't a clue what it was (Geology 101 is a dim distant memory...)
    I am right away caught up in the old 'lay' 'lie' issue with the title and I so want to see "Did I lie in the regolith?" or "Have I lain in the regolith?" but we won't quibble about that now but in case you're interested here's a handy link I find most useful when in doubt: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/lay-versus-lie?page=1

    I just want to get one other thing out of the way and that's that I think that "into" should be written 'in to' in this instance=and give in to your stillness....

    but now my nit-picking is finished and I would like to say I really like your poem an awful lot and would like to add it to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2014-09-24 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]

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