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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 898
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 682



    Description:
       A bit of a mess. It's nice to have something to work on to. This could be a lot better...Obviously I don't have a title:)..thinking here...:p


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    If ever
    our lives cross again
    imperfectly
    on a touched ground
    The hands that once felt your skin
    would no longer linger
    like it used to be
    as if the day never seen a sun
    yet the warmth was there
    the leaves make green,
    sometimes flowers..

    In those quiet nights
    We lay and sleep comes
    like a barefooted thief
    taking away the night
    You wish
    of a strong coffee and short day
    I'll tell you
    The universe will not grant it
    The stars unconsciously will shine
    dreams continue and,
    hope turns
    to a misspelled goodbye.




    Submitted on 2014-09-27 23:07:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the first verse and the ending lines.
    I look forward to know what title you will make for this.
    | Posted on 2014-10-23 00:00:00 | by irrelevantme | [ Reply to This ]
      
    as if the day HAD never seen

    The last line is genius I love it.

    Being familiar with the English language
    (as I am)
    You really have to understand nuance to grasp
    how adroitly this poem finises meaning by
    juxtaposing ordinary words into extraordinary
    relationships
    | Posted on 2014-10-05 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199553

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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    January 10 07
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