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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 682



    Description:
       A bit of a mess. It's nice to have something to work on to. This could be a lot better...Obviously I don't have a title:)..thinking here...:p


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    If ever
    our lives cross again
    imperfectly
    on a touched ground
    The hands that once felt your skin
    would no longer linger
    like it used to be
    as if the day never seen a sun
    yet the warmth was there
    the leaves make green,
    sometimes flowers..

    In those quiet nights
    We lay and sleep comes
    like a barefooted thief
    taking away the night
    You wish
    of a strong coffee and short day
    I'll tell you
    The universe will not grant it
    The stars unconsciously will shine
    dreams continue and,
    hope turns
    to a misspelled goodbye.




    Submitted on 2014-09-27 23:07:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the first verse and the ending lines.
    I look forward to know what title you will make for this.
    | Posted on 2014-10-23 00:00:00 | by irrelevantme | [ Reply to This ]
      
    as if the day HAD never seen

    The last line is genius I love it.

    Being familiar with the English language
    (as I am)
    You really have to understand nuance to grasp
    how adroitly this poem finises meaning by
    juxtaposing ordinary words into extraordinary
    relationships
    | Posted on 2014-10-05 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    7. What was unclear?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199553

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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