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    dots Submission Name: The first five minutesdots

    Author: Narna
    Elite Ratio:    1.73 - 14/102/70
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1221
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1033


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe first five minutesdots

    This morning I awoke drunk..
    [on the memories of us]
    Our last night, cast away
    by more tasteless drunken reverie.
    All of our intoxicating memories
    meant, the weight of your presence felt light,
    until the second I was gone.
    In this absence;
    the wasted hours taste sour, and
    missing you has hit me like a trailer
    in the middle of the night.
    I have you to thank for
    getting me out of bed this morning.
    Come to think of it,
    every morning since
    the moment we met.
    I've been awoken by you!
    I'm not sure if it's writing on this bus
    that's making me dizzy, or
    if it's the thoughts of you circling
    in my head.
    But, the 'peachy' bed,
    in your arms,
    was far more comfortable than this
    bus full of strangers.
    No matter how heavy my eyelids feel,
    I cannot sleep, or dream,
    for fear of forgetting I ever left your side...

    Submitted on 2014-10-06 23:17:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This piece has a lot going for it---lose some of the "I" s . We's ==the personal 1st person POV---- and lots of those articles--tell it like it IS--WAS and always WILL be --- wish I still had the insight you now hold in your palm---

    | Posted on 2014-10-17 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

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