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    dots Submission Name: DNA's Moon Dancedots

    Author: monad
    ASL Info:    64/M/California
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1090/408/117
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1184
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 441

       Inspired by a poem by annie0888 called DNA

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDNA's Moon Dancedots

    A common thread our swanky prance
    Obdurate circles while we dance
    Harmonious we'd make romance
    And for each other we'd enhance
    With eloquent and wanton stance
    While willingly we take the chance
    To reach across unknown expanse
    And though akimbo not askance
    We flaunt unfettered by durance
    While at each other we would glance
    As if enraptured by a trance

    Submitted on 2014-10-17 12:43:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Those Celestial women can sure dance. All swaying hips and sweaty skin. One crooked finger, beckoning from the other side. Be Great write thanks for sharing :)
    | Posted on 2017-09-19 00:00:00 | by endlessgame23 | [ Reply to This ]
      ... and then we would take off our pants.

    It's playful, so much as to verge on annoying, but wonderfully self-aware about the whole thing, almost tongue-in-cheek. So kudos. I took one look at the rhyme scheme and was convinced I hated it. You convinced me otherwise.
    | Posted on 2015-03-25 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      Shall we advance to the next level of this Moon Dance? Lol Sorry I had to say that! I love the rhyme and rhythm felt like I was on a ship of words and their meaning is the ocean.
    | Posted on 2015-03-25 00:00:00 | by ShadowParadox | [ Reply to This ]
      Is that not a double Illuminati hand sign in your picture? This explains much. Yesss, I see it now... all the key words are there within this cute little, apparently innocent poem.

    It's always about the moon and DNA isn't it? "To reach across unknown expanse" ;)

    | Posted on 2015-02-24 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Shaman about the rhythm. I like it where normally it kind of gets on my nerves. Something about your word choice and the direction the subject takes really embellish the otherwise monotonous direction this could have taken. I admire that a lot about you as a writer, you can pretty much do what you want with words and it still comes out with quality. I was genuinely interested as I read along. I am pleased with the conclusion. I feel that satisfaction that I look for when reading anything.

    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2014-11-22 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece has the feeling of a dance the back and forth rhythm. I generally don't like rhyme at the end of every line it can be a bit monotonous but it works well here it creates a nice rhythm. I had to look up a couple words; but not as many as usual. this is more basic and user friendly then some of your past pieces I've read. Thanks
    | Posted on 2014-10-18 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]

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