A common thread our swanky prance
Obdurate circles while we dance
Harmonious we'd make romance
And for each other we'd enhance
With eloquent and wanton stance
While willingly we take the chance
To reach across unknown expanse
And though akimbo not askance
We flaunt unfettered by durance
While at each other we would glance
As if enraptured by a trance
It's playful, so much as to verge on annoying, but wonderfully self-aware about the whole thing, almost tongue-in-cheek. So kudos. I took one look at the rhyme scheme and was convinced I hated it. You convinced me otherwise.
I agree with Shaman about the rhythm. I like it where normally it kind of gets on my nerves. Something about your word choice and the direction the subject takes really embellish the otherwise monotonous direction this could have taken. I admire that a lot about you as a writer, you can pretty much do what you want with words and it still comes out with quality. I was genuinely interested as I read along. I am pleased with the conclusion. I feel that satisfaction that I look for when reading anything.
This piece has the feeling of a dance the back and forth rhythm. I generally don't like rhyme at the end of every line it can be a bit monotonous but it works well here it creates a nice rhythm. I had to look up a couple words; but not as many as usual. this is more basic and user friendly then some of your past pieces I've read. Thanks