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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Between the Sun and the Skydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Carosuel
    ASL Info:    26/F/Twirlwind
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 96/73/28
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 920
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 840



    Description:
       We are fine.


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    dotsBetween the Sun and the Skydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The soil soaks it in
    dehydrated, greedily.
    The dirty droplets endure.
    They pearl--slate and ashen--
    and sing, nimbly, moving sure.
    Through rotting leaves
    and an earthly brazen smell,
    they carry on, absentmindedly,
    washing a broken spider out.
    And with it, bits of me:
    a lung, an eye, a soul, a mouth.

    And you smile, so infrequently,
    and you smile behind clouds.
    I hunger and hide with the vapor
    in a ghostly, ageing shroud.
    In a silent, compliant suspension
    between my roots and my roof.
    Handcrafted in carelessness,
    in love and lies and truth,
    with warmth and your smiles
    and tendrils of your incandescent youth.
    Confining and embracing me,
    reassured, airy, and diffused.




    Submitted on 2014-10-22 22:10:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very creative write, for although it can be interpreted as darkness it can also be the light of love. As I contemplated the line about taking eyes, lung, soul, and mouth, I realized love does that two. It takes our eyes so we see only beauty, seizes lungs until we cant breath, part of the soul forever, and our mouth to paralyzed to speak. So despite the dark images the smile and touch say everything is okay. This is just my take but I thought this one deserbed some comment.
    ~jan
    | Posted on 2015-04-12 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I really like this. I felt like it just flowed through me while I read it.
    | Posted on 2014-10-23 00:00:00 | by irrelevantme | [ Reply to This ]


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