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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fruits of the Minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheAirWeBreathe
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 5/16/19
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 631
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 460



    Description:
       I'm back after a somewhat of a hiatus! I posted a slightly different version of this poem on social media. This is just a little something that popped into my mind, and I wrote it down. So, let me translate. "There's no way to prevent not know, but if I knew everything, I suppose I'd be unhappy. There's no way to keep your heart from aching, but if I could I would be even worse off"


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    dotsFruits of the Minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's no cure for stupidity
    No vaccine for ignorance
    But if I were to live in this world omniscient
    I would wish to know how to prevent my existence
    There's no medicine to expel love
    There's no surgical procedure to keep away the pain it brings
    But instead if I were to live in this world only shaking in my self-contained cold and the rain
    ...what more a pain it'd be to endure.




    Submitted on 2014-11-04 13:38:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Like I always say 'when God gave us free will he gave up his rights to omniscience'. It is to be hoped that he wants to love us. Further if this God does not yet exist if he could be said to have become due to. Of we must love each other.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2014-12-05 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your write. It's one of those things you never read ... one rarely stumbles across intensity ... I found this particularly interesting:
    "There's no way to prevent not know, but if I knew everything, I suppose I'd be unhappy"
    I guess that everyone can relate to those feeling. It's like saying that perfection is so boring and pointless.
    Maybe you could have included those lines within your piece.

    Another line that I found most intriguing was:

    "But if I were to live in this world only shaking in the cold" it seems as though there is more to it than meets the eye ... it reminded me of a dream I had a few months ago and a tacky write that was yielded there and then.

    As for critiques, I would say that line 7 sounds a slightly cheesy ... I've been there though ....the agony of uncertainty, the frustration of just wondering whether you could have done things differently and the gut-wrenching what -ifs..... How I loathe them.

    As for the ending I was left with the feeling that something sharper could have been said or written come to that. I believe that having ended with something similar to the penultimate line would have been more striking. My own take on it though. You don't have to pay much attention to what I've said. In the end you might not be interested in getting these type of comments anyway....

    Hope you have a nice day.
    Ethan Brody
    | Posted on 2014-11-09 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]


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