Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Never want to lose youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: childoftears
    ASL Info:    20/female/CV Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    1.02 - 3/24/39
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 912



    Description:
       About a friend i whole dear and near to my heart but its very much more then that like spirit soul mates or something. :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNever want to lose youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Into his eyes I stare
    To afraid to speak my true feelings,I wouldnt dare
    His soul such beauty I seek within
    But to ruin our friendship would b a sin.

    To lose him would drive me insane
    Like shoving a knife straight through the heart,the unbearable
    Pain.
    Hes my best friend,hes like my guardian
    Hes sweet,so lovable this amazing being not like the rest of
    them.

    Hes shown me a new way of living
    But so hard when I look at him,Im mesmerized like that
    annoying song you cant avoid with that up beat kind of
    thing.

    Cant describe how I feel when were together
    Its like the whole world around us disappears
    Hes the only one who truly understands me
    the only one that listens the only on that hears.

    But my feelings I must hide
    to keep him by my side.




    Submitted on 2014-11-10 16:57:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    A familiar story that all of us know all too well. I think if you structured this a little better and reworded some lines to keep syllables closer together youd have am amazing piece. Almost reads like most of the ones I write. Keep it up
    | Posted on 2014-11-13 00:00:00 | by kase | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199637

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry