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    dots Submission Name: moves upon the face of the watersdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 721

       I still feel brand new at this. Anticipating any thoughts.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmoves upon the face of the watersdots

    Like a present I have yet to unwrap
    Beautiful in its mystery
    To unveil
    What is mine

    The belly that grows in pregnancy
    Swollen like the blossom of an adolescent flower
    Growing inside
    What is life

    The stilless that steals the air
    hesitant to make a sound

    Apprehended only by my observation
    Waiting for nothing but to be felt
    To be known

    There is a presence and a language
    Guiding principles
    Speaking intention
    Awakening every thing that sleeps

    Doing more than measuring the waves of the sea
    the voice that continues to change

    Submitted on 2014-11-27 11:22:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is one of the best explorations of life (and pregnancy) I have read.

    Stylistically the absence of punctuation works so well here creating pause, allowing you to transition from one subject so that the next time the poem settles -where it settles it is the next new thing
    and so on.

    This is really great (admirable)
    when you think about the subject matter and phrasings expressed, which btw were a gorgeousness, really impressed.

    On the poem: this is life

    and that's such a rare thing -to get it down on paper.
    | Posted on 2015-03-16 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked how your words flowed and the imagery. You have a talent as a writer. I like this verse.

    "There is a presence and a language
    Guiding principles
    Speaking intention
    Awakening every thing that sleeps"

    Love and Peace,


    | Posted on 2014-12-17 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]

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