Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

self critique [final, maybe]

Author: EshyFishy
ASL Info:    21yo mess having crises
Elite Ratio:    6.89 - 126 /124 /57
Words: 135
Class/Type: Cheesy Joke /Childrens
Total Views: 2008
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 758


I wrote this on my fkn iPod and I have auto capitalise disabled. some writer. pick this apart, I honestly don't care anymore! ES has a totally different crowd than when I started so. knock yourselves out, babes.

self critique [final, maybe]

I can't write anymore.

words don't fall off the ends of my fingertips like they used to. I have no rhythm, and I have no flow.

my sentences don't vary. they are short and stocky. staccato. small details. I forget how to use literary devices.

that or my paragraphs are made of sentences which are, in themselves, a novel. I think to myself that using proper English and proper grammar is so classist, and ableist, and I want no part in that. but at the same time, I want to create art, and people don't appreciate mistakes in a masterpiece.

I look at pieces I wrote. I was 9 when I first started. and here I am. ten years later, no drive. I was 16 when I stopped. good riddance.

Submitted on 2014-12-17 09:36:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I can't write anymore.

words don't fall off the ends of my fingertips like they used to. I have no rhythm, and I have no flow.

...and my syllables have nowhere to go
they lead such tepid lives
withpunctuated wives
leisurely and slow

they crawl inside themselves
and hide on the highest shelves
behind organic soups
on an endless loop
of unfinished works
without a single spark
retirees in the dark

I think I will join them soon
a million years from here
when the dark and the dust have cleared
from the triangular tip of the moon
| Posted on 2014-12-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  You should keep writing. This sounds like someone who wants to be a writer more than someone who has something on their mind. You sound more interested in your "ability" or "style" which seems to be slipping away from you. This kind of pre-occupation is not very helpful, you would be better off thinking about content. If you have something on your mind, or you see something that interests you, why not try to write a poem about it? If you don't, then just leave it. There's no need to beat yourself up saying your quitting or anything like that. There's no point writing for the sake of it. But I read your Lips poem and I thought it was pretty good. It would be a waste for you to stop, if you keep writing you'll probably surprise yourself.

It's not a crisis if your not in the humour of writing anything, actually it's much worse if you have something you really want to write about but have no idea how to do it. Good luck anyway.
| Posted on 2014-12-18 00:00:00 | by Wolfwatching | [ Reply to This ]
  The best tools are the ones you can put discretely into your pocket, then whip out and put immediately to use whenever the occasion arises. When you carry it around in your pocket, you become surprised at how handy it is having it there.
| Posted on 2014-12-17 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
  I feel for you. The urge to write, to create something artistic and aesthetic can be a rewarding thing. I guess if you don't enjoy it or can't really climb out to it anymore it might seem somewhat futile or limpid. For the longest time I sort of ran out of stuff to write about but I got my second wind and I'm happy I did. Writing can be such sweet solace.

| Posted on 2014-12-17 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?