[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: self critique [final, maybe]dots

    Author: EshyFishy
    ASL Info:    21yo mess having crises
    Elite Ratio:    6.92 - 126/123/57
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Cheesy Joke/Childrens
    Total Views: 1158
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 758

       I wrote this on my fkn iPod and I have auto capitalise disabled. some writer. pick this apart, I honestly don't care anymore! ES has a totally different crowd than when I started so. knock yourselves out, babes.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsself critique [final, maybe]dots

    I can't write anymore.

    words don't fall off the ends of my fingertips like they used to. I have no rhythm, and I have no flow.

    my sentences don't vary. they are short and stocky. staccato. small details. I forget how to use literary devices.

    that or my paragraphs are made of sentences which are, in themselves, a novel. I think to myself that using proper English and proper grammar is so classist, and ableist, and I want no part in that. but at the same time, I want to create art, and people don't appreciate mistakes in a masterpiece.

    I look at pieces I wrote. I was 9 when I first started. and here I am. ten years later, no drive. I was 16 when I stopped. good riddance.

    Submitted on 2014-12-17 09:36:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I can't write anymore.

    words don't fall off the ends of my fingertips like they used to. I have no rhythm, and I have no flow.

    ...and my syllables have nowhere to go
    they lead such tepid lives
    withpunctuated wives
    leisurely and slow

    they crawl inside themselves
    and hide on the highest shelves
    behind organic soups
    on an endless loop
    of unfinished works
    without a single spark
    retirees in the dark

    I think I will join them soon
    a million years from here
    when the dark and the dust have cleared
    from the triangular tip of the moon
    | Posted on 2014-12-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      You should keep writing. This sounds like someone who wants to be a writer more than someone who has something on their mind. You sound more interested in your "ability" or "style" which seems to be slipping away from you. This kind of pre-occupation is not very helpful, you would be better off thinking about content. If you have something on your mind, or you see something that interests you, why not try to write a poem about it? If you don't, then just leave it. There's no need to beat yourself up saying your quitting or anything like that. There's no point writing for the sake of it. But I read your Lips poem and I thought it was pretty good. It would be a waste for you to stop, if you keep writing you'll probably surprise yourself.

    It's not a crisis if your not in the humour of writing anything, actually it's much worse if you have something you really want to write about but have no idea how to do it. Good luck anyway.
    | Posted on 2014-12-18 00:00:00 | by Wolfwatching | [ Reply to This ]
      The best tools are the ones you can put discretely into your pocket, then whip out and put immediately to use whenever the occasion arises. When you carry it around in your pocket, you become surprised at how handy it is having it there.
    | Posted on 2014-12-17 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel for you. The urge to write, to create something artistic and aesthetic can be a rewarding thing. I guess if you don't enjoy it or can't really climb out to it anymore it might seem somewhat futile or limpid. For the longest time I sort of ran out of stuff to write about but I got my second wind and I'm happy I did. Writing can be such sweet solace.

    | Posted on 2014-12-17 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Humanity's Loss, Humanity's Gain | prt o written by MyPeriodical
    I Just Want to Have Fun written by SavedDragon
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    MY VERY OWN DEATH written by Ethan Brody
    Remnants written by Soul-Hugger
    Generation Lost in Space written by teika5
    Ahogo written by MyPeriodical
    Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    The Veil written by Swimming Bird
    No words written by Janesaddiction
    Hide away written by robbie
    Humanity's Loss, Humanity's Gain | prt t written by MyPeriodical
    undetermined written by MyPeriodical
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    Cansansio written by MyPeriodical
    Release written by robbie
    is it nature written by MyPeriodical
    Untitled written by taintedsmiles
    A Dream Within a Dream (My favorite EAP poem) written by Debauchery
    Sanctimony written by MyPeriodical
    I am still sorry. written by MyPeriodical
    Next to you written by robbie
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    To Be written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    Abyss (credit to Carina) written by Debauchery




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]