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There's Something Wrong With Me

Author: riverrei
ASL Info:    25/F/MI
Elite Ratio:    5.93 - 64 /34 /61
Words: 193
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1901
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1334


There's Something Wrong With Me

What’s wrong?
I should be happy. . .
Stress is taking over,
drowning me within it.
What’s wrong with me?

I admit the truth
and you yell at me.
I tell only the truth
and you scream at me.
You wanted to truth
and you get it.

You wanted to know
why I was stressed.
you trick me into telling you
and you abandon me.
You argue and scream at me more.
Don’t’ you know that’s not helping?
What’s wrong with me?

I’m going insane.
I can’t go against the grain.
No free will, no time to myself.
No privacy, no trust.
There is no anything. . .
I’m going insane. . .
What’s wrong with me?

Trying to be happy,
failing in the end.
Just like everything else.
All I am is a failure.

I’ve got the blade,
just let me bleed.
So with the gentle flow of blood
my stress is relieved.

There’s something wrong with me.
Just let me fix it.
So like a fairy tale,
I can live happily ever after.

There’s something wrong with me. . .
What could it be?

Submitted on 2015-01-04 15:28:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  im going to be painstakingly honest with you.
as i would like people to be with me.
i feel as if this lacks originality.
its reminded me of something i wrote when i first joined ES
almost 9 years ago now
under the alias ("dark figure").
and upon realising that i read a list longer than my arm of similar writings within the first week.
this critique does not make the feelings you feel while creating your work any lesser.

don't write this off or get hurt by my words but put this one under the microscope and build it into a scene with characters and a sense of place even if it ends up two three times longer than it is now i feel it will enrich the work and leave a lasting or more permeable effect upon its readers.

but hey what do i know

right now its raw and needs a spice to be savoured, this is just food for thought.

Distorted cloud
| Posted on 2015-01-12 00:00:00 | by distortedcloud | [ Reply to This ]

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