Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where Is My Lullaby?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: riverrei
    ASL Info:    25/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    5.93 - 64/34/61
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 771
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1044



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere Is My Lullaby?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Walking into the room,
    seeing your radiant smile glowing back at me,
    running as fast as I can.
    Reaching you only to find it was a dream,
    all that I have left of you.

    Remembering the last eerie memory:
    walking in the middle of the night
    hearing your slow, silent snoring as soft as a sigh,
    like a lullaby rocking me to sleep.

    Silence pours into the room.
    Where is my lullaby?
    Straining to hear any sign of your existence.
    What’s going on?

    Slowly, I creep out of bed,
    tiptoeing to the side of your hospital bed
    laid out in the living room.

    “Grandpa?” I whisper into the silence.
    No answer.
    My body starts to shake as I call for you once more.
    Again no answer.

    I fall to my knees.
    Realizing your fate,
    I stay by your side
    crying myself to sleep.
    Why did you have to go?

    Until we meet again,
    good night forever.




    Submitted on 2015-01-04 15:33:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its strange how we do not notice the little noises of a person until they are missing. My mother always had a little cough and then she'd clear her throat. The sounds of love are many and varied, but they are wrapped in the people we love.
    This is simple but beautiful because its honest and open. It's also heartrending because you let the reader know from the first stanza that things do not have a happy ending. Although you show faith, the last line is haunting in its simplicity.
    I'm glad you found Elite to share your work.
    | Posted on 2015-02-11 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I am very sorry for your loss. May your grandfather rest in peace. I too have lost a very dear grandfather in my life. He wasn't just a grandfather to me, but my teacher in life, my inspiration, my ally when everyone else opposed me. His death was heartbreaking for me and took me many years to heal and be able to think of him without crying.

    This is a very beautiful and heartfelt poem. It holds so many emotions that seem to merge well together, not clash. The happiness to have this person in your life and the comfort his "lullaby" brings to you, the shock and not understanding why the lullaby ceased so abruptly, the pain it brings to have the precious person in your life taken away from you, like a part of your soul has torn apart, but lastly the hope that you will once be reunited. I love how you end it, "Until we meet again, good night forever."
    | Posted on 2015-01-12 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199853

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry