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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Life is Toxicdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Forgiven
    ASL Info:    38/F/Florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 335/330/93
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 838



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLife is Toxicdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was alive for moments,
    breathing in its air..
    that I thought was clearing my mind....

    Instead,
    I was allowing its contamination.

    Breathing it to my core,
    allowing it to poison me
    even when I knew what it was
    I allowed it finish its course.


    But now,
    The obscurity has lifted,
    and my eyes are clearing.

    I can see its "truths" for what they really were.
    I'm now on my guard,
    and there is no
    secrete password,
    no hidden door,
    Im locked here
    and its time to piece it back together
    before I walk back to the sun.

    But Ill give it to you life...
    lesson learned,
    point taken,
    its been written down.

    Denise




    Submitted on 2015-01-05 20:15:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      When I was a young whippersnapper I tipped a cow over when it was trying to sleep.

    I like to think that the cow thought "Ha ha! You got me mofo!!!" Because it didn't seem to get upset that I interrupted it.

    And...I have no constructive criticism for this one Denise.


    | Posted on 2015-02-27 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Lesson? Learned.

    did someone mention secret doors?
    neuropathy and coffin locks
    shade the sun and warp the floors
    with broken plates and stacks of socks

    as a chorus claims the prize
    (like little bits of innocence)
    is only given to the wise
    who were not raised to walk the fence

    | Posted on 2015-01-18 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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