Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lost something in the rain dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: distortedcloud
    ASL Info:    25/M/London
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 6/8/7
    Words: 345
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Death
    Total Views: 986
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2085



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslost something in the rain dots
    -------------------------------------------


    high definition cos im frozen in time
    pixelate definition from within my cryptic mind
    so sickened by life like the writtens that take the littlest time
    selecting vision as my sence to finish the crime
    words weave life around me like i've lived and i've died
    whispers from the wingless drops to my feet in forms of drips from the sky
    a blank message in a bottle that talked of gods in ya life never to reach the eyes of man because the ink never dried
    the nights lifted from silence as the shadows emerge with sickening cries
    of demons banished by an invisible divides that deepen the lines
    governments with the talons sunk deep in your lives
    (murders committed in dark ally ways keeping newspaper alive spreading their lies)
    got their hands in everyone's pockets forcing you to survive
    hell gates protrude filling our city with fiends that seem to convene
    on ways to get the "streets clean" unholy alliance with a sweet dream
    well aint dat just a mother fuckin neat scheme...

    what the price of a life?
    why does every man think that hes dark as the night, cold as the ice.
    roads are nothing like the sea so inside me i pray that the sharks never arise
    you pull machine and don't pardon the dice
    numbers take aim as the martyrs sacrifice
    claims your mind and separates your heart from guise, on this day the rain fell from the skies
    but it didn't wash the blood from his eyes
    some one said to me that no one ever really dies
    i told him he better think twice
    family feeling it
    street niggers dealing shit
    wish i had a zoot to feel the hit
    cant believe they killed this kid
    lifes so short here for a bit then the soul and body split
    faster than it takes the light to reach our eyes
    life is the present
    so take this gift unwrap that shit
    cos love is the prize
    hope is the lies

    just open your eyes x2




    Submitted on 2015-01-11 09:01:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Different than the previous poem I read by you. I like this one a lot more then the other one. It has more depth to it and I can relate to it more. I like how descriptive you are. Keep writing, I enjoy reading your work.
    | Posted on 2015-01-12 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199868

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    ME written by jjd
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    untitled written by Chelebel
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry