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I have a friend She always tags along She's always up to no good Always putting me down I tried to be nice to her To show her that things Are not really bad As it seems She never listens This friend of mine Sometimes I wonder How did I end up with her? I tried to be kind I tried not to mind Of the words she played On and off in my mind When I say I can, She'll say I can't When I say I will, No prizes for guessing what she'll say She'll bring my mood down Wherever I go She'll make me mad Sometimes without a reason to I've tried to shut her down I've tried to make her leave But nothing seemed to work I had no choice but to heed I'm tired of this I'm tired of it all I wish I know I wish I have A cure, a jab Something or anything That'll make her stop Even for a second Does anybody know? Please tell me I'm down on my knees I'll do anything Just to let her go. |
junk| Posted on 2015-01-15 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ] | I agree with the above tweaks/edits. I also have the below possibilities: | I'm tired of this I'm tired of it all I wish I know (knew) I wish I have (had) it just seems to flow a little better when written this way. You obviously don't have to take my suggestions, just a thought. I like the poem a lot and can definitely relate the feeling within the poem. I hope that one day you can find a happy medium with this friend, or find a resolution. Take care! | Posted on 2015-01-12 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ] | I have a friend | She always tags along She's always up to no good Always putting me down I tried to be nice to her To show her that things Are not really (as terrible) As (they may) seem Just a suggestion for a tweak that might help you keep your rhythm throughout the post. By the way, have you considered evicting Miss Nancy from the back of your skull and sub-letting to someone a little more positive like (I don't know) Captain Flash and the Christmas People? I'm sure they'd supply year round holiday music. Just some thoughts on your thoughts. ;) | Posted on 2015-01-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ] | |