[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: her handsdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1156
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 599


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsher handsdots

    Her eyes open and close
    Her breath waits easily to escape
    All the things she sees before her tell her that she is yet again engaged
    In a story or a song

    Another second chance

    Her moving forward feels like chaos
    She is leaving fingerprints on everything around her
    Dropping what breadcrumbs she can
    Hoping to gather some sense that she is going the right direction

    Every moment of satisfaction guided by a beginning
    Middle and end
    Aprehended by her patient heart
    for healing

    Submitted on 2015-01-11 21:41:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      why are we not both famous by now? Our styles are completely different, but both beautifully expressed. We must hold ourselves accountable and fulfill our destinies as amazing sister authors!
    | Posted on 2015-03-01 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that you gave no description for this. Your writing is full of big ideas and feelings wrapped into very few lines. Your disregard for strict structure lets the poem run freely.
    So as I read this through for the second or third time, I wondered about the story behind it, because it could be an interpretation of life for someone who has been very ill, or it could be more metaphorical for a relationship broken. In reality, it does not matter. I always think good literature, no matter the genre, should be thought provoking. You have made me think today!
    | Posted on 2015-01-14 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      the longing heart, for an unwanted answer to shed light on an existence unexplainable and painfully short imbued with a quest of discovery of self governed by a civilisation that rejects individualism on a macro scale indirectly obscuring the destinations were destined for.

    "Her moving forward feels like chaos
    She is leaving fingerprints on everything around her
    Dropping what breadcrumbs she can
    Hoping to gather some sense that she is going the right direction"

    i feel the desperate need in your words so much so if i had not sworn my self to not shed any more profound tears i would have opened the flood gates and relished in a moment of self pity.
    i feel as if i understand what was going through your head at the moment these words were conceived more so than the words presented.

    this reminded me of my first year of my (fine art) degree,
    it was a year of pure unadulterated exploration that led me to a very dark hole where passion first showed its face as obsession.

    i enjoyed!
    i would like to read a big chunk of prose possibly something closer to a novel i see potential and expanding horizons

    Distorted Cloud
    | Posted on 2015-01-12 00:00:00 | by distortedcloud | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed reading this. I can relate to it. Great piece of work, thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2015-01-12 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]