Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Dead by Daybreak


Author: ForgottenGraves
ASL Info:    20, Male
Elite Ratio:    0.49 - 5 /121 /135
Words: 65
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1880
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 507



Description:




Dead by Daybreak



Howling in the moonlight,
Then hunting at dusk.

Our pack,
This pack,
Never fails a hunt.
Never fails to feast.

Alpha eat.
We will wait.

Crunching bones,
Muscle tearing,
Just makes our hunger grow.
Just makes the hunt complete.

Weak and sick.
Smart and strong.

Doesn't matter,
Prey is prey,
We hunters will catch you.
We wolves will devour you.




Submitted on 2015-01-12 01:58:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This would work best with a Wolverhampton accent.


Dead by day break is an interesting title. It does leave the reader wondering whether the wolves are threatening prey: which is not a really good survival tack or whether the wolves are afraid they themselves will be dead without killing prey.

I particularly like: weak and sick, smart and strong. This best encapsulates the pack as a family giving purpose to their hunt.

| Posted on 2015-02-09 00:00:00 | by ContritePoet38 | [ Reply to This ]
  junk draw
| Posted on 2015-01-15 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
  I could sense the longing in this to be the one to feast first. I'm surprised that you didn't take the alpha role for this poem; most would take that spot over simply one of the pack. I like the definitive nature and confidence of a successful hunt, the last stanza is definitely my favorite.
| Posted on 2015-01-12 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



199872