Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dead by Daybreakdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ForgottenGraves
    ASL Info:    20, Male
    Elite Ratio:    0.42 - 5/111/127
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 620
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 507



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDead by Daybreakdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Howling in the moonlight,
    Then hunting at dusk.

    Our pack,
    This pack,
    Never fails a hunt.
    Never fails to feast.

    Alpha eat.
    We will wait.

    Crunching bones,
    Muscle tearing,
    Just makes our hunger grow.
    Just makes the hunt complete.

    Weak and sick.
    Smart and strong.

    Doesn't matter,
    Prey is prey,
    We hunters will catch you.
    We wolves will devour you.




    Submitted on 2015-01-12 01:58:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This would work best with a Wolverhampton accent.


    Dead by day break is an interesting title. It does leave the reader wondering whether the wolves are threatening prey: which is not a really good survival tack or whether the wolves are afraid they themselves will be dead without killing prey.

    I particularly like: weak and sick, smart and strong. This best encapsulates the pack as a family giving purpose to their hunt.

    | Posted on 2015-02-09 00:00:00 | by ContritePoet38 | [ Reply to This ]
      junk draw
    | Posted on 2015-01-15 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      I could sense the longing in this to be the one to feast first. I'm surprised that you didn't take the alpha role for this poem; most would take that spot over simply one of the pack. I like the definitive nature and confidence of a successful hunt, the last stanza is definitely my favorite.
    | Posted on 2015-01-12 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199872

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The World written by jjd
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry