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    dots Submission Name: self indulged destructiondots

    Author: distortedcloud
    ASL Info:    25/M/London
    Elite Ratio:    6.42 - 6/8/6
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 438
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 857


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    dotsself indulged destructiondots

    yes we have all been there once,
    at least..
    Sat at the dinner table.
    offering our demons a feast..

    Tears streaming from bleary eyes,
    slamming blindly into the keys.
    Begging for the ground underneath
    to disappear,
    from unstable beliefs and shaky knees.

    yes we have all been there once,
    Sat at the dinner table.
    Offering the demons a little more...

    Red eyes that have been rubbed sore,
    snot filled noses and sweaty paws,
    begging for love and attention
    but consumed with fear from the slightest mention

    yes we have all been there once,
    im sure.
    sat at the dinner table..
    Offering the demons whats left like a little whore

    yes we have been there once before....

    Submitted on 2015-01-12 21:44:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      yeah. i like this, it kind of makes me think of the exorcising demons/exercising demons thing. well more so exercising. if everything fit like an analogy we could just feed them to death or never let them exercise but they have a place. we need them a bit. well most of us. i guess exercising them is to put them to good use. gasoline for the fire that's contained. strange thing is when we feed them they get loose. and if we think they're exorcised well maybe we got out a bit or a good bit at that but we're all human so we all have them, we just deny it. not literal demons(which i don't believe in) but you know, the other kind. fresh take, that's cool. i don't think the title fits so well because it's not fully destructive and destruction leads me to think destroyed. i would say self destructive indulgence. but that's me. kudos for the fresh idea.
    | Posted on 2015-01-18 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed reading this. It's very subtle; it wasn't quite clear what exactly is driving the emotion behind the lines but I liked it that way. I also enjoyed the repetition; sometimes repetition can be over the top and annoying, but I found your use of it helpful in driving the poem forward to the end. It helped build the emotion straight through to the end. Very good read :)
    | Posted on 2015-01-13 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]

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