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    dots Submission Name: A farwell letter to a frienddots

    Author: lynn7
    ASL Info:    43/ St. Augustine, FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 419/288/103
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Misc
    Total Views: 888
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 749


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA farwell letter to a frienddots

    Cowards we are
    we witness humanity
    crumbling, before our eyes
    yet we say nothing
    we sleep with lies
    to blind the times

    Where are all the watchmen
    have they all fallen?
    the righteous
    have they turned?

    For only this year
    I can see
    all I'm allowed
    our future is yet
    to be remembered
    don't forget

    It's not to late
    anything is possible
    we just might
    make this right

    Work out your salvation
    For if you seek
    You shall find
    and if you don't tie
    don't blame me

    I'll be working out mine

    Submitted on 2015-01-19 01:20:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A very inspiring and thought provoking write. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2015-02-03 00:00:00 | by Ramneet | [ Reply to This ]
      Some possible edits:

    Stanza 1:
    "crumbling, before I eyes"...please change this to 'our eyes'...

    Stanza 2:
    Capitalize 'The' in the third line as it's the beginning of a new sentence.

    Stanza 3:
    I think you mean 'allowed', not 'aloud'.

    Stanza 5:
    I just have no idea what you mean by "and if you don't tie"...

    Overall I think it's a decent piece. Fix up the errors and it will be great.
    | Posted on 2015-01-26 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]

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