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    dots Submission Name: Valentine Lovedots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 297
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 1022
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1743

       It's not finished but tell me what you think i need feedback please

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    dotsValentine Lovedots

    Tom stood at the door with bright red roses trying to mislead his wife’s mind setting up an illusion of love with backdrop of adultery. Hopefully, she does not stand down wind of him, the fragrant still lingered on him. Her wroth would leave him to camp on the porch. Maybe, even it would leave him to fend for himself, since this might be the last strike of her incalculable threats of leaving him.
    Now, he sat with his back against the door and legs bent in upright fetal position wondering why his vacant heart seeks the arms of a one night stand. He truly loved his wife, Betty, but he didn’t sew his wild oats before settling down. Tom declared to himself to be faithful but at that split moment Betty swung the door open leaving Thomas to fall backwards into the hallway. Tom jumped to his feet.
    "Hello, honey." He stated plainly.
    "What where you doing out on the porch, Thomas?" Betty asked.
    "And where have you been?" Betty demanded to know.
    Tom took a moment to gather the words of response, when Betty caught him vermilion collared, and red handed after smearing the lipstick with his hand. Betty’s face went baroque within seconds she grabbed the clutched flowers and begun to assault Tom with them. Leaving tiny cuts on his hands from blocking the bludging and a few lesions on his face from the first few strikes, before he shielded his face with his forearms and hands. Tom figured the cuts were deserved after the chasm he had created in Betty’s heart for the last five years.
    Betty’s altercation was intense with both words and flowers. She brought up all the affairs before. Driving Tom from the porch to the sidewalk…….

    Submitted on 2004-02-16 16:57:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like your style of writing, but the lipstick on the collar?? that's so cliché and so overused. think of something else. but well written.
    | Posted on 2004-02-16 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]

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