[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Day 4000dots

    Author: jaycee
    ASL Info:    44/F/ Texas
    Elite Ratio:    5.27 - 2626/1259/187
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 545
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1534

       Thanks Jimmie this is the best school project ever!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDay 4000dots

    It's day 4000
    Over a decade spent
    virtual ink
    virtual emotion
    down the pages
    of Elite.

    4000 days of births

    4000 days of growth
    teen angst and cutters
    writers in freefall.
    children no more
    from poets
    to artists
    master craftsmen
    fine tuning art

    4000 days of goodbyes
    from sickness and death
    life moving on
    forum crashing
    and people

    It's Day 4000
    and I reminisce
    of days
    when posts ran so fast that you could barely catch them before they dropped to the next page and
    critique guidelines where rigidly
    Learning to critique by the rules
    made us better writers.

    It's Day 4000
    and despite the changes
    I'm still here
    Elite is still better than flattery sites
    and it remains my family home.
    where I welcome new members
    mourn and miss old
    and await friends to drop by.

    It's day 4000
    and tomorrow
    tomorrow will be
    day 4001.


    Submitted on 2015-01-22 22:48:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    | Posted on 2015-01-26 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, wow, that is a while I must say (I have been here for as long as well...although not as often until recently). Congratulations for sticking! I also think this is the only best site for sharing one's works and getting more or less fair critiques.

    You summarized it perfectly. The emotions you felt throughout. The things you have written since the beginning and how far you have evolved as a writer. The friends you have gained, some lost, and probably some weirdos you have blocked/deleted. Obviously, it is not the same as it used to be. It has changed, for better or for worse. You can't seem to go though. I think many of us can relate to that being here as long as you.

    I especially like your first stanza:
    "It's day 4000
    Over a decade spent
    virtual ink
    virtual emotion
    down the pages
    of Elite."
    It is so tuneful and vivid.

    Sorry to say, I feel that the last stanza can be forgone, but that is just my opinion. I think it doesn't bring anything to the rest of your beautiful poem. Otherwise, wonderful work!
    | Posted on 2015-01-23 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    prison written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Dream written by closetpoet
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Records I written by Raphael
    Etiquette written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]