Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Software Malfunction Musings on a Karmic Systemdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Passionbyapathy
    ASL Info:    23/M/Columbus, Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    5.3 - 207/276/228
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 576
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1252



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoftware Malfunction Musings on a Karmic Systemdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sleepless stuck counting
    one sheep by two sheep
    still pitch a penny to the
    fountain pen for luck
    when facing this blank page
    pluck a few choice words
    bend them to curve
    across a tongue
    sharp
    caught up counting sheep
    one sheep by two sheep
    hushed pillow talk
    pull the wool over my eyes
    so I can sweetly dream
    Put my heart on the backburner
    she's got her ass turned up
    and i'm going in like a head turner
    stepping up like a bread earner
    sneaking up like a heart murmur
    tortured soul so my sleep suffers
    earnest to a fault and its depressing
    i'm still amidst memories
    like this life isn't temporary
    living backwards, it's contrary
    to the backgrounds im operating
    system of small sounds and vibrations
    in spaces too small squared
    displacing me to somewhere else
    where I can be with
    dreamers however brief
    inbetween blinks
    and lucid
    fluid like karma
    blunt force trauma
    heart breaks and deep pain
    nerve damage and a problem
    with gambling on good will
    and hoping on a promise




    Submitted on 2015-01-24 00:45:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with riverii totally. Not much to add. All your stuff just captives.
    | Posted on 2015-04-25 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      "in between blinks
    and lucid
    fluid like karma
    blunt force trauma
    heart breaks and deep pain
    nerve damage and a problem
    with gambling on good will
    and hoping on a promise"

    the illusion is real
    this well-worn drama
    of guttural rage
    and charming bravado
    slithers like skin
    in search of a host
    all silk and all steel
    and all whisper and boast...
    | Posted on 2015-02-01 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot, I always love the format and continuation of words that you use which make it almost seem like a rap in my head, haha. It does seem to end a little to abruptly though. Overall I enjoyed it and thought it was good. I can almost feel the pain and longing in this piece.
    | Posted on 2015-01-24 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199913

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A Tounge Lashing written by teika5
    Last Correspondence written by Angeles
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    47.4979 19.0402 written by homeless
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Plutonian Nepenthe written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ritual Hunger written by endlessgame23
    Silent Hill written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Hope sustains life written by Ramneet
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Unselfish written by theman
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Pyre Romancer written by Wolfwatching
    My Irish Harp written by poetotoe
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Don't Stop written by poetotoe
    Devil's Presents (Gift wrapped number One) written by endlessgame23
    All cause of you written by theman
    Live In Between written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry