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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: meditationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: CrypticBard
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 368/381/226
    Words: 28
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 819
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 202



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmeditationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    On powd'ry grains of sand
    At genial island's narrow end,
    Morning gently breaks:

    I cast stones at crested waves;
    Cheeks still moist in briny breeze.




    Submitted on 2015-01-28 06:35:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this. Even though it is very short, with only having 5 lines total, it is very descriptive. I can see myself standing or sitting on the beach and tossing pebbles into the water. Lovely piece.
    | Posted on 2015-02-12 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]
      Almost the perfect tanka! You need one more syllable in line two and one less in line 5 (I'd just delete "My"or "still" and change the word "an" to a two syllable adjective.

    Okay even if the form is off for tanka, the flow of the words is relaxing and works well with the theme. Not close enough to the beech for this to be a regular form of meditation, but it's one I enjoy, too.
    | Posted on 2015-01-28 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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