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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a modern valentinesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 449
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 871



    Description:
       designed as a fast conversation


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    dotsa modern valentinesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Shall i compare thee to a summers day
    No, because Shakespeare is under rated these days
    If music be the food of love play on
    I would do that, but then just change the song

    Do i love you because you are so gentle
    With a touch that makes me quiver
    Well i have never read 50 shades
    But i bet your touch aint much better

    We’ve got to night, who needs tomorrow
    I do, im at work the next day Muppet.
    Tale as old as time, true as it can be
    How can it be old as time, we only met four years ago

    Im not gonna write you a love song
    Good because i hate the soppiness
    Well what do you what this valentine
    For you to just be mine,

    Forget the antics
    Forget the rhymes
    Just put on Netflix
    And have a good time




    Submitted on 2015-02-03 08:34:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This does appeal to laugh out loud moments. Shakespeare quote set a tone of cliché only for an instant going off track like a DJ doing scratch mix of Vivaldi.

    I cannot help but laugh along in verse two where your obvious disillusionment of literotica or erotic literature is expressed in mentioning 50 shades. I have read possibly two dozen pages- no sex. Mills and Boon is infinitely more life affirming.

    OK by verse three Disney's Beauty and the Beast crops up and Muppet. Its difficult to tell if the lover is securing conjugal rights midweek or taking a rain check.

    Methinks the final two chapters simply aim at de-sensationalising one day in an otherwise endless calendar of smaller more bearable niceties than going absolutely crazy just for one night.
    | Posted on 2015-02-09 00:00:00 | by ContritePoet38 | [ Reply to This ]
      Cute and clever. I like the play on words throughout strumming along like my teenager with my car radio. Station constantly changing. Only writing critique I have is to go ahead and capitalize Shade since its a title & to night = tonight. I'd probably capitalize all the "i"s too, just because it doesn't really add to the structure and it distracted me as I read. I think this is a all or nothing thing with this poem.
    ~jan
    | Posted on 2015-02-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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