I found her
I found her
the one I was supposed to be
She wasn't really hiding
She really did find me
She was singing in the forest
a song I should have known
a melody so pure, to which she was completely bound
her heart was found a million miles
from the place where it began
beating faster now than ever
on the light stored within
She had to be reminded that
life is full of love
when the right eyes find you
there is nothing but above
Improvement for improvements sake
is not a fullfilling line
she had to learn to let go
and freedom came in time
where the journey felt impeded
was nothing, simply air
happiness was and is a choice
none other that exists to compare
I like rws's tweaks on your piece, as far as the edits in parentheses goes, but the stanza formation I don't agree with. I'm big on free writing and believe that if you wrote it the way you wanted it to be written, then the way the stanzas are formatted isn't important. Yes it's something that needs consideration, but not nearly as important as the words themselves and the story they are trying to tell. I say keep the formatting the way you have it originally and just make the parenthetical adjustments that rws suggested.
Overall a wonderful peace and glad I took the time to read it :)
Submission Name: Rose
