Love is a very strange thing. I didn’t realize I was in danger of falling before it was too late. It hit me like a truck when I didn’t realize I was in a road, and piled into me until it spilled over and overwhelmed me entirely.
Ultimately, for me, romantic love is when every fiber of your being calls out to the person you’re in love with. Every moment spent awake and even sometimes sleeping, is used to think about how you can help make them happier. It’s when you find yourself caring about someone more than yourself. You find yourself suddenly willing to rearrange your whole life, just so that you can be with them.
I was perfectly happy and content with being single, without being in love, with just myself, it was enough. I was already happy and free. Then out of the blue, in the most unexpected way, I met someone who I now can no longer imagine my life without.
I’ve been in love before, and I remember it fondly, but this love is different. This love is reciprocated in the same fashion that it is given. It is appreciated in the same way I appreciate it. It is cared for in the same fashion that I care about it. I have never in my life experienced something so completely mutual, symmetrical, and mirrored on every discernable level. I feel narcissistic in a way, as I feel like I have met another version of myself.
Being in love can be painful and difficult, but only when it is kind of one sided. I have been bound and tied by love in the past, I have experienced unrequited love, I have also felt desperation being in love with someone who didn’t care as much for me, I have also felt hopeless being in love with someone who never really understood what love was. I’ve felt the compulsion to change or compromise myself in every relationship I’ve ever had for the sake of love, except this one.
This, though, this mutual love, is absolute freedom.
To stay myself, to be taken for who and what I am and not judged for it. This type of love is like flying with borrowed wings, bright like the sun, clear like placid water, and easy like a second nature. There is nothing difficult in this love other than physical distance, but even that pain of longing and waiting is ultimately completely worth it. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s so wonderful that I have difficulty believing that this is real life at all. Happy, healthy, and free, flying in tandem with someone who is also all of those things. Understanding, honesty, sincerity, loyalty, altruism, compassion, freedom, respect…
I really can’t describe it in words other than I’ve met the twin of my soul.
I was happy and free before. I am in ecstasy and endless now.