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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Don't look twicedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: OneDarkFlame92
    ASL Info:    23/m/Numeanor
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 455/419/222
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 543
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 932



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDon't look twicedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Because it's just breathing.
    Boring.
    Old.
    Repetition.
    We can't seem to quite figure out,
    exactly how it works.
    Don't ya know, it's just breathing.
    Boring.
    Old.
    Repetition.

    And there are songs,
    that will catch me for a second
    and there are books,
    that will hold me for a day
    I think they were about how life just moves on
    and I must have done the same.
    But there were lessons in there somewhere.
    There was truth in a second look.

    Any advice--
    to make this transition smoother?
    From one end of a life,
    to an unsure, untimely death.
    Clutching every detail that I passed by
    and looking for answer within the ruins.

    Where are we going




    Submitted on 2015-02-05 20:19:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree nicely done!
    | Posted on 2015-02-12 00:00:00 | by deluka | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, I respect its a rework of a Dylan classic. Yet 'its just breathing' raises its own metaphysical paradox.

    Decoupled from space-time fabric, far removed from tactile connections of love poetry. The breath is understated and innocuous enough, reminiscent of Shakespeare sonnet 65: O! how shall summer's honey breath hold out.

    'Clutching every detail that I passed by

    and looking for answer within the ruins.'

    This does present the mind-body conundrum in an original and insightful way.

    'Where are we going'

    Is left in declarative form as opposed to interrogative- quite tactfully. Quite rhetorical, philosophical as well as only slightly disillusioned.
    | Posted on 2015-02-09 00:00:00 | by ContritePoet38 | [ Reply to This ]
      Don't Think Twice (It's Alright)
    It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
    It don’t matter, anyhow
    An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
    If you don’t know by now
    When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
    Look out your window and I’ll be gone
    You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
    Don’t think twice, it’s all right

    It ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
    That light I never knowed
    An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
    I’m on the dark side of the road
    Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
    To try and make me change my mind and stay
    We never did too much talkin’ anyway
    So don’t think twice, it’s all right

    It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
    Like you never did before
    It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
    I can’t hear you anymore
    I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wond’rin’ all the way down the road
    I once loved a woman, a child I’m told
    I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
    But don’t think twice, it’s all right

    I’m walkin’ down that long, lonesome road, babe
    Where I’m bound, I can’t tell
    But goodbye’s too good a word, gal
    So I’ll just say fare thee well
    I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind
    You could have done better but I don’t mind
    You just kinda wasted my precious time
    But don’t think twice, it’s all right

    Bob Dylan


    Every bit of this post reminded of the doe-eyed fatalistic side of our man Bob. A fate that seems almost good but entirely done and gone all too soon.

    Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2015-02-08 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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