Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Miscarriagedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TeslaKoyal
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 19/66/85
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 559
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1225



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMiscarriagedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In this situation
    I never thought I'd be
    How could this happen
    Why was it me
    Becoming pregnant
    And not even aware
    That I was ignoring
    Like I just didn't care
    I was worried and scared
    He didn't need to know
    Would he even believe me
    No emotion was shown
    I hid it for so long
    Kept pushing it away
    But it would pop up again
    In my head it did stay
    I went on with my life
    Didn't let it consume me
    But one day it came back
    Strong as it could be
    It was tearing me apart
    Though I didn't know why
    Didn't think it mattered
    But I started to cry
    I talked to him about it
    I thought he'd be mad
    But instead he listened
    Understood why I was sad
    A blessing in disguise
    He said that it could be
    It seems to be just that
    He and I were not ready
    To bring a baby in this world
    It would not be fair
    Mommy and baby here
    But daddy never there
    Even though we never met
    We love you anyway
    And maybe at some point
    We'll be together one day




    Submitted on 2015-02-06 12:25:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Congratulations on the surprise child. I think this is good but could use some editing. It would be easier to read if you could separate the lines into stanzas. Which is a weird suggestion from me since I tend to go for writing how you think it works best, but I do think it would flow better with stanza separation. I like the rhyme scheme as well, but I suggest re-reading this because there are some grammatical errors that would make the flow so much better with this piece. Thank you for sharing though :)
    | Posted on 2015-02-12 00:00:00 | by riverrei | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sad, but believe me I also understand the stress and worry of unplanned pregnancy. My situation was not yours, and so I made other choices for my relationships. However, I did have a scare at the beginning of my pregnancy and was put to bed. So I understand that body and love for the child you carry that you do not yet know. I admire your outlook on things. It's healthy and mature and it shows your faith. I often wondered how I would have been had I lost Hannah and whether I would have stayed with my fiance. My mother and grandmother both had several miscarriages and I knew my chances of the same were there. I also was not even able to talk about the possibility with them at the time. But Mom used to talk about seeing the babies when we went to Heaven (which seemed weird because they are my older siblings), but I believe all innocent souls do go to Heaven.
    No critique here; just thoughts. This is a part of your diary written in poetic form. Keep it as a physical memory for what has been lost.
    | Posted on 2015-02-10 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    199951

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    untitled written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Wavelength written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry