Infinite Crisis (1st verse from original draft)

Author: kase ASL Info:    34, M, Winnipeg Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 169 /398 /235 Words: 61

Class/Type: Misc /Misc Total Views: 1402 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 385

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Infinite Crisis (1st verse from original draft)

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Silently I stumble, my movements anything but tame. Stability bound to crumble, left to fortify the pain. I flex my mental muscle, it.indicates a bit of strength. My mind's tired from the hustle, stretched to a new length. Now a slave; not to the system, but my own discontent. Reluctantly still brave. Indulged in courage but still hell bent.

Submitted on 2015-02-06 21:37:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

nice write Kase

| Posted on 2015-02-10 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]

Wow! I went back and read the other version and there is no comparison in style or content. This one is much more sophisticated than the other version. Totally different style. I kept looking at the internal rhyme scheme and tried to decide if I would have preferred 12 lines vs 6, but no I think this is better so that your readers is not caught up in your rhymes scheme. Ont typo in line 3 with the period after it. but I totally enjoyed the read.

| Posted on 2015-02-10 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]

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