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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Infinite Crisis (1st verse from original draft)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kase
    ASL Info:    27, Winnipeg
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 169/398/234
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 728
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 385



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInfinite Crisis (1st verse from original draft)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Silently I stumble, my movements anything but tame.
    Stability bound to crumble, left to fortify the pain.
    I flex my mental muscle, it.indicates a bit of strength.
    My mind's tired from the hustle, stretched to a new length.
    Now a slave; not to the system, but my own discontent.
    Reluctantly still brave. Indulged in courage but still hell bent.




    Submitted on 2015-02-06 21:37:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      nice write Kase
    | Posted on 2015-02-10 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! I went back and read the other version and there is no comparison in style or content. This one is much more sophisticated than the other version. Totally different style. I kept looking at the internal rhyme scheme and tried to decide if I would have preferred 12 lines vs 6, but no I think this is better so that your readers is not caught up in your rhymes scheme. Ont typo in line 3 with the period after it. but I totally enjoyed the read.
    | Posted on 2015-02-10 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


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